After the recession, I wrote about the new norm in the book Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags.Now we are experiencing a new phenomenon associated with the new norm that newspapers are calling the new normal. (Examples: NY Times November 7, 2012 – By MIREYA NAVARRO, November 01, 2012 – By ANDREW C. REVKIN) The words are different but the effect on humans is the same. Individuals are facing more change and upheaval than ever before. There are fewer things we can count on–jobs, security, and now weather possibly associated with climate change.
How do you weather the new storms?
More than ever individuals must remove expectations and learn to be extremely resilient and flexible. Think about that ball on a string as it goes up and down. That is you going through difficult times and then times of stability. The challenge is to find new, different, and creative ways to be happy in spite of the difficult times.
Problem solving using innovative methods is the key to getting through the new normal. Multitasking can be an important skill to use but it is different now–it is being able to juggle emotions and practical actions at the same time. Dealing with loss while picking up your life, your belongings and moving forward.
Count your blessings instead of your losses.
Those blessings may be disguised in small things like a child’s hug or a friend’s message of love. We are still a free nation and people around you care what happens.
As I traveled the world this summer I was often reminded about the many institutions we have to help us during times of crises. There are few countries that have the resources, spirit, and volunteer organizations willing to help out.
The new normal is here to stay. Your willingness to push through and find a life that is meaningful and productive is your challenge. If you have lost a lot or a little, it is an opportunity for you to think over what was and is important and what you might want to do differently.
Could this mean that governments will now pay more attention to the happiness of their people when they form their polices? We hope that this will be the beginning of a trend to create an awareness that deals with more than just income.
In the Happiness report the four happiest countries are Denmark, Norway, Finland and the Netherlands. The report describes that other factors such as social and personal are important for happiness–mental health, physical health, individual values (people who care about other people).
The report indicates that over the last 40 years, the measure of happiness has not increased in the United States despite sharply rising incomes. The problems of poverty, insecurity, corruption, loss of social trust are just a few factors that affect America’s sense of well-being. Source: John Helliwell, Richard Layard, Jeffrey D. Sachs.
We should begin to learn from the reports, conferences and new initiatives. Seattle’s happiness program is a great example in the US and is going strongly. Check out their questionnaire and program. http://www.sustainableseattle.org/sahi
Of course, happiness begins with you and your ability to understand the principles, practice them and set an example. It is the beginning of building a world with more joy and less sadness.
Patricia Varley, consultant, speaker and contributor to our book, Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags, recently visited and spoke at a conference in Dubai. Here are some of her impressions regarding life and work.
What cultural differences stand out?
Dubai is like a melting pot similar to the USA in many ways.
80% of the population of Dubai is ex-pats from US, UK, Europe, Asia, Australia, etc.
20% are local Arab Emirates. You can experience the culture through their dress. Both women and men dress in local garb and all the women have Berkas covering everything but their faces.
There is no unemployment in UAE. You must have a work visa or work sponsor to stay in the country. Therefore, there is very little crime and minimal poverty compared to USA.
Dubai and Abu Dhabi are more conservative than US, especially around sex and advertising, clothes, women, etc.
If you bounce a check they can and do through people in jail!
What experiences were meaningful?
I visited the Abu Dhabi which is the 5th largest and most beautiful mosque in the world. All the women entering had to cover up in the black Berkas. I felt very emotional the entire time I was wearing the Berka. I had a strong feeling of grief, suppression and repression of women. It was a very meaningful and intense experience for me.
I celebrated New Year’s Eve by going on a safari in the desert. What an experience to be among lots of camels! I also saw Dubai by water.
What were some impressions of women’s lives?
In some ways the local Emirate women are repressed because they must cover themselves with the black Berkas. The husbands can have up to 4 wives provided they are all equally taken care of. In other ways women seem more respected in UAE as they are not sexualized– unlike the US and other cultures.
Regarding careers and dress, the expat (non local) women are more like Europe and America. However it is still a more conservative environment.
Men and women unless they are married cannot show any signs of affection in public. Husbands and wives can only hold hands.
What can you expect to experience in Dubai?
It feels like NY meets Miami, meets Las Vegas, and meets Disney World. It is opulent, wealthy and very materialistic with expensive cars, shopping malls, skyscrapers, and 42 five-star hotels. It has a big city environment, yet, it is on the Gulf of Arabia in the desert.
The common languages are English and Arabic. The money exchange (AED,dhiram) is similar to the US dollar. Even though 80% of the people are not local it is a friendly and very diverse culture. (Many Americans) Transportation is easy with a large metro and taxis.
Are there business opportunities?
Yes. It is a growing business culture with lots of commerce. Making money is why people go there. In 15 years Dubai will be out of oil so they are growing other businesses such as retail, construction (everywhere!!), tourism, financial, sustainable energy, leadership, business, University education and women’s issues. There are many work opportunities.
Unlike Dubai, Abu Dhabi has 120 years of oil left. It also has more traditional Arabian culture and is very wealthy!
How safe did you feel?
Very safe—there is low crime and it is very clean. It is a police state though you rarely see police.
Did you encounter any anti-American sentiments?
No. It appears they were not only trying to be like America but working to “out do” America by having a multitude of buildings that are bigger and better. There are a multitude of American products and advertising.
Previously, we talked about the challenges of finding gainful employment and how the rules are changing when identifying and interviewing for an opportunity. Employers are savvy and know they can benefit from the amazing resources and talent available – so how do you make yourself standout from the crowd?
Consider the old way versus the new: employ vs. engage. Not only is this a different process, it’s also a mindset. Companies are looking for talent that is fresh, updated, are quick learners and who can take the ball and run with it. More of a “here’s what I can do for you” versus the old “here’s what I can do.”
Engagement is about getting people’s attention, offering something of value and then creating buy-in or participation. It’s not spouting your accomplishments or data dumping, waiting for the other person to be impressed.
As a Baby Boomer, your 30 years of stability aren’t necessarily a bonus – they may signal lack or creativity or innovation to a different generation. Don’t take that as a personal slight – it’s just one more way the employment process has changed. Instead, identify key successes, challenges resolved and obstacles you overcame to demonstrate your value and skills.
When writing UPSIDE, Bonnie and I were very aware of these shifts, so we dedicated an entire chapter on how to leverage your value by identifying your existing marketable skills. You can download one of the key exercises, the Power Core, to jumpstart the process for free (http://upsidethebook.com/downloads.html). Once you determine which skills are valuable in the current economy, you can then start identifying which industries need your abilities and offer opportunities.
Can you develop your own American Dream?Can you accept that your lifestyle may be different than the last generation?Can you still be happy?
In our book, Upside:How to Zig When Life Zags, we discuss the meaning of happiness.Our premise is that even during a recession and hard times, it is possible to be happy.One of the core elements in the book is the idea that happiness comes from many things other than material possessions. We also emphasize the importance of reworking your American Dream to fit the new reality.
A new survey conducted by MetLife indicates that many are pursuing their own version of the American Dream.Beth Hirschhorn, executive vice president and chief marketing, says “people are adapting and pursuing their own American dream.” There is a de-emphasis on material values, even to the extent of accepting lower living standards.
“The American Dream for many – higher education, owning a home, a great career, providing a financial safety net and building retirement assets – is eitherunachievable or irrelevant.Posted on:Dream’s dark hour By GREGORY BRESIGER January 7, 2012
Survey spokeswoman Laura Adams, adds that the American Dream is less conventional and more personalized than previously defined. The average American wants to realize his own dream, not that of a group.
Whitney Ferre believes that each of us in an artist, actively creating art called “life.” Despite that fact that Whitney is not some who could paint or draw as a trained artist, she opened two Creative Fitness Centers that do just that – show people how to create change in their lives through art.
According to Whitney, natural talent is not the driving factor behind creativity. Instead, it is the art making that creates the bridge from your logical, analytical left brain to the infinite, intuitive, miracle creating right brain. Her results have been so exciting that her art classes led to a published book, The Artist Within, and also an online Creatively Fit program. (www.creativelyfit.com)
The journey has not been without setbacks. Amidst opening two art centers, having three children and publishing two books, Whitney also opened and operated two wine bars with a partner. Unfortunately, the wine bars ended up in the red, which created much self-doubt. Whitney recognized the power of experiencing such kind of failure and refocused her vision on Creatively Fit. She now coaches and has an entire team of Creatively Fit Coaches across the United States, Africa, Europe and Australia.
For Whitney, there is no greater joy than creating joy in others. When her clients transform from “I can’t even draw a straight line” to creating their own art, her purpose is proven. Whitney believes that art making is a portal to your higher, infinitely creative self and there is no greater reward that helping individuals experience this.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch tomorrow on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
When Sallie Felton works with a new client, one of her first questions is, “What would it feel like if your life were exactly the way you wanted it to be?” It’s a thought provoking question from a woman who understands how intricate life can be.
After three years of intensive training to become a Professional Certified Coach, Sallie uses her own powerful life transition to lead others to success. Whether it’s identifying goals, working on relationships or beginning a new chapter in life, Sallie is your secret weapon to uncover the hidden obstacles that are holding you back. An accomplished author and speaker, Sallie also hosts an international radio show, A Fresh Start with Sallie Fenton http://www.salliefeltonlifecoach.com/A_Fresh_Start_radioShow.html
Sallie’s own background of addressing the not-known and identifying obstacles is powerful. She co-hosts a second radio show with Conway, her husband of 30+ years. Entitled, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Sallie and Conway discuss the realities of managing and living with depression. Often a taboo subject, depression affects millions but is often misdiagnosed or untreated. The response has been so popular the couple is working on a book together.
For Sallie, her mantra of “Start Where You Stand” is the North Star and guiding passion of her business. This idea that life begins in this very moment where you are is a powerful directive and the platform of success for her clients. Sallie encourages people to ask for help and let others do what you don’t want to. She believes that investing time because you can or should is a disservice to your authentic self. Your time deserves to be spent in pursuing your passion.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
For some people, wanting to make a difference sounds cliché; for Dawn Z. Bournand, it’s a life passion. Her philosophy is simple: give the best of yourself as often as you can. Dawn was inspired to name her company “Fabulously Successful” to help others break out of their comfort zones to grow and reach out on the level they were destined to achieve.
Dawn’s approach is different from other life coaches. While she supports and empowers people to live their purpose and create their own version of fabulous success, she also believes that owning your own business can often be a great way to accomplish your dreams. Dawn and her team focus on clients’ passions to determine how they may be able to weave them into their lives on a daily basis and perhaps even begin to make a living doing what they love.
One of the keys to fabulous success, Dawn believes, is finding joy in all parts of your life. As a mother of three young boys, she lives her message that life balance is not only possible but vital. According to Dawn, when one lives their life purpose, they have a reason, a why and they move forward with these core values in mind. That clarity makes it easy to decide the more important activities and release the rest.
The path to purpose has not always been easy for Dawn. As an expat in Paris, she was surprised and depressed by the lack of career options. Her turning point came as she silently prayed for guidance on a metro train, only to discover a phone message on her cell that would start her on her path to fabulous success.
For Dawn, touching just one person, igniting that spark of empowering others to excel is the reason she continues to grow her business. www.FabulouslySuccessful.com now offers group coaching and a Fabulously Successful Elite Club for Women and will be adding personal VIP days and workshops in France and in select cities around the world – all designed to help women use their light to shine even brighter and inspire others.
Advice for getting on track with your life’s purpose? “Go for it!,” says Dawn. “Find a success buddy, group or coach who can help you through the rough spots.” These rough spots can be the key to moving to the next level or taking your next step. Learn more about Dawn at www.FabulouslySuccessful.com or visit https://www.facebook.com/dawnbournand.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
Andrea Woolf wants you to have it all – the self-proclaimed “Queen of Having It All” discovered her gift of coaching others through challenges at a very young age. While other children played outside, Andrea could be found in her mother’s salon chatting with clients. Eventually, the client would reveal their personal obstacle and commit to specific action steps to resolve it by the time they left.
Andrea applied this talent to a very successful corporate career.While juggling massive projects in a high-pressure environment, she still found that helping individuals achieve their goals to be the most rewarding.When she discovered the role of executive coaching, Andrea says it was like “finding the glove that fit me.”
Her clients are fueled by Andrea’s core values of integrity, full self-expression and inspiring magnificence.She believes that all business is created through powerful and connecting communication, which quickly leads to amazing results and successes.Andrea is committed to inspiring others to own their personal magnificence by thinking and playing bigger while embracing the huge difference they make in the world.
Andrea certainly walks her talk, too.A confessed ‘recovering perfectionist’, Andrea discovered many of the tools she coaches others with as she wrote her first book, Ignite Your Life! How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.The need to write the ‘perfect’ book almost immobilized her, but lucky for us, she overcame her self-doubt and busy mind and voila, the book is now a reality!
Her advice to others?“The only thing between you and your dreams is YOU!”How very true – that’s why in order to have it all, you must let go of expectations and doubts and embrace the possibilities.Learn more about Andrea’s inspiring work and sign up for your free chapter newsletter at www.IgniteYourLifeBOOK.com.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
Today, November 27, The Diane Rehm Show, www.thedianerehm.org, focused on the loss of the American Dream. (I encourage you to listen to the podcast.) There were many poignant stories of individuals who followed the rules—did everything right and still fell behind. There were many reasons why—loss of job or health, cost of health care, lack of education, government services, union issues, housing, etc.
As we know, in this political climate it will be a long time before the government is able to do anything substantial. However, there are still some things individuals can begin to do on their own. In Upside: How to Zig when Life Zags, we encourage individuals to reinvent their American Dream—that means start over. Wipe the slate clean of expectations, things that worked in the past. In today’s world, we must constantly invent. We must also think about alternatives in every aspect of our lives—where and how we live, how to educate our children, how to save money, and how to protect our health.
As I watched the frenzy on Black Friday, I was amazed that people are still being tempted to spend even during these difficult times. I have nothing against purchasing goods but that day could have been spent enjoying family and brainstorming the next steps for many during this transition.
None of this is easy but we aren’t alone. We must find the courage and the mental and physical resources to move on and find the answers. We must be strong and commit to being resourceful and find others with which to share the journey.
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