When Sallie Felton works with a new client, one of her first questions is, “What would it feel like if your life were exactly the way you wanted it to be?” It’s a thought provoking question from a woman who understands how intricate life can be.
After three years of intensive training to become a Professional Certified Coach, Sallie uses her own powerful life transition to lead others to success. Whether it’s identifying goals, working on relationships or beginning a new chapter in life, Sallie is your secret weapon to uncover the hidden obstacles that are holding you back. An accomplished author and speaker, Sallie also hosts an international radio show, A Fresh Start with Sallie Fenton http://www.salliefeltonlifecoach.com/A_Fresh_Start_radioShow.html
Sallie’s own background of addressing the not-known and identifying obstacles is powerful. She co-hosts a second radio show with Conway, her husband of 30+ years. Entitled, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Sallie and Conway discuss the realities of managing and living with depression. Often a taboo subject, depression affects millions but is often misdiagnosed or untreated. The response has been so popular the couple is working on a book together.
For Sallie, her mantra of “Start Where You Stand” is the North Star and guiding passion of her business. This idea that life begins in this very moment where you are is a powerful directive and the platform of success for her clients. Sallie encourages people to ask for help and let others do what you don’t want to. She believes that investing time because you can or should is a disservice to your authentic self. Your time deserves to be spent in pursuing your passion.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
During my vacation trip to Africa, I didn’t have my cell phone. There were a few days of withdrawal especially with email. I survived but I now that I’m back in the US I can admit to being addicted.
In our book, Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags, we discuss Need Vs. Want and ask readers to seriously ask the question as they make daily choices—especially in this economy. Do I really need this item?
“I need that toy”! Exclaims a child to his mother is a store. This often-heard phrase is a reminder of our society’s use of the word need. We need shelter and food—but what else do we really need? Abraham Maslow created a diagram in 1943 that outlines basic needs of mankind. Shelter and food are the essential foundation of the hierarchy, and once those are satisfied, love, acceptance, meaningful work and social relationships follow. (Excerpt)
In an August 19 article in the Chicago Tribune, a reporter, Mary Schmich, writes about getting her cell phone deluged in Lake Michigan in a wet biking splash. After days without a cell phone, she still managed to get her story written—no easy task. She had some words of wisdom as she was going through cell phone detox, “Life is largely a series of itches. We mistake cravings for necessities, dependencies for needs.”
As we know cell phones and other “tech toys” make life in our busy world easier, but what are the lessons that we can learn from Mary’s experience? In retrospect, without my phone I was able to be fully present and not distracted. I had a richer experience and was able to quiet my mind and enjoy my trip more.
As you go through your work week, be aware of those things in your life that you feel you really need. Try going without a phone, computer, or other devices. See if you can determine those things you crave vs. necessity– and, avoid those itches.
These are exciting times and important events with the new protests as they indicate changes are in the air. People are frustrated and looking for solutions. The world has become more difficult to navigate and people are angry and confused, and want to make the world a more livable place for themselves and others. In our book, Upside, we discuss “the not known is the new norm” which is happening and creating instability. People want stability and that comes when change occurs at all levels—corporate, government, and individual.
As I listen to comments from protesters one theme seems to reoccur: the American Dream. One protester in Florida said, “I feel like the American Dream has passed me by.” Others have said, “What happened to the American Dream?” We have researched this topic and address it in our book at length– It is time to reinvent your American Dream to adapt to the changing times. Your American Dream will look different moving forward than it did in the past. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy and prosper. It does mean that you will have to change the paradigm so it is sustainable.
My hope for the protest groups is that they organize at some point to address their issues and put them in categories so we all can brainstorm and begin problem solving. There are answers and ways to address all the issues but it will take a commitment and willingness from our whole society to change. The New American Dream will be at the core.
My perception of the simple life changed dramatically after my recent trip to the countries of Namibia and Botswana in Africa.
In my US workshops, I often ask people to determine what are the things in their life that contribute to happiness. The subsequent discussion with attendees usually includes how to lead a simpler life and be happy.
In my travels through Africa, my observations about the simple life caused me to reflect once more. For Africans, access to basics like water and electricity are minimal. Cooking is simple, done outside over a wood burning fire. This is the extreme in simple living. Walking five miles a day for water is a normal activity for everyone. Transportation to anywhere is limited to donkey carts or hitching rides.
I’ve read about these living circumstances but seeing it first hand, is monumental. I didn’t do any surveys on happiness but children playing without toys seemed very happy. Our guide said that “when you don’t know any other life it is easy to accept your circumstances and be happy with what you have.”
We can’t compare our US lives to African ones but we can take on their attitude of being happy with what we have—which is ten times more than any individual living in the African villages.
When asked in a recent radio interview on happiness what I was thankful for it was easy to reply—clean water out of a faucet. What are you grateful for that contributes to your happiness?
You may be surprised to know that Americans work harder than our counterparts abroad. While Europeans enjoy months at a time of “holiday,” Americans remain hard at work. The numbers on relaxation and vacation are in – and they are not in our favor! (more…)
Now that summer is unofficially over with the start of school, I’m exhausted – and I didn’t have anyone to send back to class! Nope, my slow burn is the result of not taking any time off and trying to cram in all the last-minute requests, wrap up loose ends and finalize major projects started mid-summer. Ordinarily, this is no problem. This year, however, I feel more burned out than ever… (more…)
Economist and best-selling author Juliet Schor has a new video describing the new American Dream: http://vimeo.com/26573848. The film shows why economic and job-related strategies from the past that don’t work in today’s economy. It depicts, in her words, “what a post-consumer society could look like, with people working fewer hours and pursuing re-skilling, homesteading, and small-scale enterprises that can help reduce the overall size and impact of the consumer economy.”
In our book Upside, we talk about the need for creating your own career crystal ball of the future. This film is an excellent example of our concept: taking advantage of emerging job opportunities based on the needs of the future. It also takes into account the need to pay attention to our dwindling resources as that affects job opportunities, too. (more…)
As the economists and media specialists have us all in frenzy about another downturn, there is something else we should focus on besides just our financials. It isn’t only our stocks and bonds that create financial issues — it is our way of life, lack of long term planning and unrealistic expectations of the “American Dream.”
A recent New York Times and CBS poll conducted June 4-28 showed that 55% still see owning a home as very important to their American Dream. Forty-nine percent of those polled are also saying that buying a home is generally safe.
Based on all that has happened since 2008, these individuals haven’t yet come to terms with a new definition of the American Dream—one built on realistic expectations. If owning a home becomes the all-important goal instead a sustainable lifestyle, there is a good chance individuals are putting themselves at risk. (more…)
Enthusiastic, passionate, knowledgeable and strategic are a few words to describe, Kyra Cavanaugh, work-life consultant and president of Life Meets Work. She is an expert in flexibility and here are her words of wisdom regarding the status and future of flexibility,
I asked her what the upsides of flexibility vs. doing nothing are:
Flexibility is a tool to achieve strategic objectives. It helps organizations meet bottom line objectives such a growth, customer loyalty, sustainability and more.
It’s not about being nice – it’s about survival.
Regarding employers being more or less resistant to implementing flexibility, she said:
Employers are more open to the idea. But they’re coming at flex as a way to solve other problems. For example, taking time to care for a sick child isn’t flexibility for them, it’s a workforce reality.
When asked if employers are well educated on the benefits of flexibility, she said NO:
“Many still think it’s a Human Resources program, a benefit or perk. But it’s not, it’s a business strategy. We have a ways to go in helping them understand that.”
Kyra says that work sharing to solve the employment issues hasn’t taken hold yet. It is at the bottom of the list. However there are some examples of condensed work week and unpaid days off.
Kyra’s thoughts on the future of flex options are exciting.
It is projected that in 2020 employers will need to go where the people are. The talent shortage occurring now will continue and employers will have to meet the needs of employees -–talent management and flexibility will have to merge. Employers will need to reach out to the diverse population. Flexibility is going to help them tap a much broader talent pool including returning veterans, part-timers, and boomers transitioning into retirement.
Kyra cited Ryan LLC as an organization that has changed culture and embracing flexibility. As a tax accounting firm in a very competitive industry, they were losing people. The CEO, Mr. Brent, didn’t do this to be nice -– but, rather to retain and recruit talent. As a result when they shifted to being performance driven rather than to “where and when” approach, their metrics went up significantly. 80% of their recruits say that flexibility was crucial to their joining the organization.
I asked about the correlation between happiness and flexibility. She said people who use flexibility are much happier. They have the time to exercise, sleep, and work-family conflicts are down. Less commuting is also a factor for less stress.
While attending a recent conference, I heard an interesting definition of the difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is the belief that you are 100% skilled in the situation, event or project you are about to undertake; arrogance is the belief that there is absolutely nothing else you can learn in or about a situation or topic.
We all know arrogant people, either at work, home or in the general public. What struck me about the definition for arrogance is the predisposition that there is nothing to be gained from new ideas or information — that resistance to an opposing point of view, which sends the message that “I’m right and you’re wrong.” (more…)
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