After the recession, I wrote about the new norm in the book Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags.Now we are experiencing a new phenomenon associated with the new norm that newspapers are calling the new normal. (Examples: NY Times November 7, 2012 – By MIREYA NAVARRO, November 01, 2012 – By ANDREW C. REVKIN) The words are different but the effect on humans is the same. Individuals are facing more change and upheaval than ever before. There are fewer things we can count on–jobs, security, and now weather possibly associated with climate change.
How do you weather the new storms?
More than ever individuals must remove expectations and learn to be extremely resilient and flexible. Think about that ball on a string as it goes up and down. That is you going through difficult times and then times of stability. The challenge is to find new, different, and creative ways to be happy in spite of the difficult times.
Problem solving using innovative methods is the key to getting through the new normal. Multitasking can be an important skill to use but it is different now–it is being able to juggle emotions and practical actions at the same time. Dealing with loss while picking up your life, your belongings and moving forward.
Count your blessings instead of your losses.
Those blessings may be disguised in small things like a child’s hug or a friend’s message of love. We are still a free nation and people around you care what happens.
As I traveled the world this summer I was often reminded about the many institutions we have to help us during times of crises. There are few countries that have the resources, spirit, and volunteer organizations willing to help out.
The new normal is here to stay. Your willingness to push through and find a life that is meaningful and productive is your challenge. If you have lost a lot or a little, it is an opportunity for you to think over what was and is important and what you might want to do differently.
Could this mean that governments will now pay more attention to the happiness of their people when they form their polices? We hope that this will be the beginning of a trend to create an awareness that deals with more than just income.
In the Happiness report the four happiest countries are Denmark, Norway, Finland and the Netherlands. The report describes that other factors such as social and personal are important for happiness–mental health, physical health, individual values (people who care about other people).
The report indicates that over the last 40 years, the measure of happiness has not increased in the United States despite sharply rising incomes. The problems of poverty, insecurity, corruption, loss of social trust are just a few factors that affect America’s sense of well-being. Source: John Helliwell, Richard Layard, Jeffrey D. Sachs.
We should begin to learn from the reports, conferences and new initiatives. Seattle’s happiness program is a great example in the US and is going strongly. Check out their questionnaire and program. http://www.sustainableseattle.org/sahi
Of course, happiness begins with you and your ability to understand the principles, practice them and set an example. It is the beginning of building a world with more joy and less sadness.
Previously, we talked about the challenges of finding gainful employment and how the rules are changing when identifying and interviewing for an opportunity. Employers are savvy and know they can benefit from the amazing resources and talent available – so how do you make yourself standout from the crowd?
Consider the old way versus the new: employ vs. engage. Not only is this a different process, it’s also a mindset. Companies are looking for talent that is fresh, updated, are quick learners and who can take the ball and run with it. More of a “here’s what I can do for you” versus the old “here’s what I can do.”
Engagement is about getting people’s attention, offering something of value and then creating buy-in or participation. It’s not spouting your accomplishments or data dumping, waiting for the other person to be impressed.
As a Baby Boomer, your 30 years of stability aren’t necessarily a bonus – they may signal lack or creativity or innovation to a different generation. Don’t take that as a personal slight – it’s just one more way the employment process has changed. Instead, identify key successes, challenges resolved and obstacles you overcame to demonstrate your value and skills.
When writing UPSIDE, Bonnie and I were very aware of these shifts, so we dedicated an entire chapter on how to leverage your value by identifying your existing marketable skills. You can download one of the key exercises, the Power Core, to jumpstart the process for free (http://upsidethebook.com/downloads.html). Once you determine which skills are valuable in the current economy, you can then start identifying which industries need your abilities and offer opportunities.
Just the other day, Sharon Cohen of the Associated Press wrote a story of Baby Boomers aged 50+ looking for long-term work. The article expressed the despair and rejection qualified candidates feel while searching for gainful employment. It evoked tough memories for me as well, when I was laid off the first time in my career, almost 25 years ago.
Ms. Cohen’s article chronicled the efforts of the job seekers – looking online, scouring the classifieds and even networking groups of other unemployed. I ran into the same issues – sending 100s of resumes to blind ads, knocking on storefronts with help wanted signs – and like many of my Boomer colleagues, I was told more than once that my knowledge and skills made me “over-qualified” for a position. The frustration and rejection can be overwhelming.
While these are traditional, classic methods, they are not the way most employers find great employees – the rules have changed and Boomers need to be aware of where to channel their time and energy. (more…)
We have been discussing expectations related to our happiness and success in our workshops for years. A recent book, Your Brain at Work, by David Rock (2009) puts some new light on the subject–There is a physiological reason we are disappointed when life does not meet our expectations. It has to do with dopamine. Alina Tugend explains this theory in an excellent article, What Did Your Expect? It Makes A Difference, on Jan 14, 2012 in the NY Times:
‘If we expect to get x and we get x, there is a slight rise in dopamine. If we expect to get x and we get 2x there is a greater rise. But if we expect to get x and get 0.9x, then we get a much bigger drop. Our brain doesn’t get slightly unhappy, it sends out a message of danger or threat.”
The conclusions from this research, as well as others, indicate that we must adapt to change and not to expect too much during this time of economic instability—especially when there are things out of our control.
In our book, Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags, we say the following:
“Feeling that you are entitled to a certain way of life, or expecting it to turn out a certain way, could be holding you back from success and happiness. Many of us were raised by parents who expected us to get an education, find a great job, buy a house and start a family. While that may have been possible for your parents, it set the bar for unrealistic expectations and feelings of entitlement for you today.”
If you can detect the source of your expectations, the upside is that it will be easier to move ahead on your journey to sustainable success. Holding on to what life should have will make deal with the not-known more difficult.
Can you develop your own American Dream?Can you accept that your lifestyle may be different than the last generation?Can you still be happy?
In our book, Upside:How to Zig When Life Zags, we discuss the meaning of happiness.Our premise is that even during a recession and hard times, it is possible to be happy.One of the core elements in the book is the idea that happiness comes from many things other than material possessions. We also emphasize the importance of reworking your American Dream to fit the new reality.
A new survey conducted by MetLife indicates that many are pursuing their own version of the American Dream.Beth Hirschhorn, executive vice president and chief marketing, says “people are adapting and pursuing their own American dream.” There is a de-emphasis on material values, even to the extent of accepting lower living standards.
“The American Dream for many – higher education, owning a home, a great career, providing a financial safety net and building retirement assets – is eitherunachievable or irrelevant.Posted on:Dream’s dark hour By GREGORY BRESIGER January 7, 2012
Survey spokeswoman Laura Adams, adds that the American Dream is less conventional and more personalized than previously defined. The average American wants to realize his own dream, not that of a group.
Whitney Ferre believes that each of us in an artist, actively creating art called “life.” Despite that fact that Whitney is not some who could paint or draw as a trained artist, she opened two Creative Fitness Centers that do just that – show people how to create change in their lives through art.
According to Whitney, natural talent is not the driving factor behind creativity. Instead, it is the art making that creates the bridge from your logical, analytical left brain to the infinite, intuitive, miracle creating right brain. Her results have been so exciting that her art classes led to a published book, The Artist Within, and also an online Creatively Fit program. (www.creativelyfit.com)
The journey has not been without setbacks. Amidst opening two art centers, having three children and publishing two books, Whitney also opened and operated two wine bars with a partner. Unfortunately, the wine bars ended up in the red, which created much self-doubt. Whitney recognized the power of experiencing such kind of failure and refocused her vision on Creatively Fit. She now coaches and has an entire team of Creatively Fit Coaches across the United States, Africa, Europe and Australia.
For Whitney, there is no greater joy than creating joy in others. When her clients transform from “I can’t even draw a straight line” to creating their own art, her purpose is proven. Whitney believes that art making is a portal to your higher, infinitely creative self and there is no greater reward that helping individuals experience this.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch tomorrow on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
When Sallie Felton works with a new client, one of her first questions is, “What would it feel like if your life were exactly the way you wanted it to be?” It’s a thought provoking question from a woman who understands how intricate life can be.
After three years of intensive training to become a Professional Certified Coach, Sallie uses her own powerful life transition to lead others to success. Whether it’s identifying goals, working on relationships or beginning a new chapter in life, Sallie is your secret weapon to uncover the hidden obstacles that are holding you back. An accomplished author and speaker, Sallie also hosts an international radio show, A Fresh Start with Sallie Fenton http://www.salliefeltonlifecoach.com/A_Fresh_Start_radioShow.html
Sallie’s own background of addressing the not-known and identifying obstacles is powerful. She co-hosts a second radio show with Conway, her husband of 30+ years. Entitled, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Sallie and Conway discuss the realities of managing and living with depression. Often a taboo subject, depression affects millions but is often misdiagnosed or untreated. The response has been so popular the couple is working on a book together.
For Sallie, her mantra of “Start Where You Stand” is the North Star and guiding passion of her business. This idea that life begins in this very moment where you are is a powerful directive and the platform of success for her clients. Sallie encourages people to ask for help and let others do what you don’t want to. She believes that investing time because you can or should is a disservice to your authentic self. Your time deserves to be spent in pursuing your passion.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
For some people, wanting to make a difference sounds cliché; for Dawn Z. Bournand, it’s a life passion. Her philosophy is simple: give the best of yourself as often as you can. Dawn was inspired to name her company “Fabulously Successful” to help others break out of their comfort zones to grow and reach out on the level they were destined to achieve.
Dawn’s approach is different from other life coaches. While she supports and empowers people to live their purpose and create their own version of fabulous success, she also believes that owning your own business can often be a great way to accomplish your dreams. Dawn and her team focus on clients’ passions to determine how they may be able to weave them into their lives on a daily basis and perhaps even begin to make a living doing what they love.
One of the keys to fabulous success, Dawn believes, is finding joy in all parts of your life. As a mother of three young boys, she lives her message that life balance is not only possible but vital. According to Dawn, when one lives their life purpose, they have a reason, a why and they move forward with these core values in mind. That clarity makes it easy to decide the more important activities and release the rest.
The path to purpose has not always been easy for Dawn. As an expat in Paris, she was surprised and depressed by the lack of career options. Her turning point came as she silently prayed for guidance on a metro train, only to discover a phone message on her cell that would start her on her path to fabulous success.
For Dawn, touching just one person, igniting that spark of empowering others to excel is the reason she continues to grow her business. www.FabulouslySuccessful.com now offers group coaching and a Fabulously Successful Elite Club for Women and will be adding personal VIP days and workshops in France and in select cities around the world – all designed to help women use their light to shine even brighter and inspire others.
Advice for getting on track with your life’s purpose? “Go for it!,” says Dawn. “Find a success buddy, group or coach who can help you through the rough spots.” These rough spots can be the key to moving to the next level or taking your next step. Learn more about Dawn at www.FabulouslySuccessful.com or visit https://www.facebook.com/dawnbournand.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
It’s not an easy time for many of you—job loss, mortgage issues, tight budgets and fear of the next shoe falling. Don’t despair. There is an upside and a way to enjoy your holiday in spite of difficult times
This is definitely a time to erase the past holiday experiences and make a new one. Wipe the slate clean and do something different.
Define what holiday means to you (and your family)
Our holidays have become a media frenzy experience instead of our own. What doyou really want from the holiday–sharing, laughing, reflecting, remembering, reawakening spirit? Once you define what you want the experience to be, you can create it without a lot of money and stress.
As I think about a time in my life when I was a single parent and broke, my daughter and I made lots of gifts and had time together to laugh and create. I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t have money to spend. I actually liked the time with my daughter that was removed from my busy life. Shopping doesn’t bring you closer.
This year I received the best present from my daughter—it was a poem on what I meant to her. I treasure it to this day. It is far better than any store bought gift.
Keep it simple
During times of great stress, it is easier to plan your holiday buying and decorating to a minimum. Think small. Remember to go back to that holiday definition and make the experiences come from within instead of objects. House decorating can be a family affair with all members coming up with one object or idea that can be put together by the family.
With small children who have high gift expectations, communicate that this year might be different. Explain why. Remember you are doing a great justice by keeping your kids in the loop of family issues. (It will prepare them for their future.) If there are financial difficulties, it is important to handle the message with honesty and compassion but not alarming them. A three year old doesn’t need lots of details but some explanation on why gift-giving will be different this year. It doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. And that really is up to you in how you communicate. For example,
“Santa is only bringing one gift this year—there are so many children and only so many to go around.” You can determine what suits your communication style.
For older children who want lots of expensive techie toys or games, you could consider contributing to an item and then asking other family members to pitch in.
General gift ideas include doing something for someone—a back rub for a partner, a special meal for a parent, a unique sleepover party for your children’s friends, etc.
Check out A Mindful Christmas—How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday by Barbara Kilikevich or Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas, by Bill McKibben.
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