Each year at this time, we make a list of things we want to change or improve. Some individuals make wishes—things they hope will occur in the new year.
At a recent winter Solstice celebration, we wrote on paper our passions—things that we can do in 2012 that make a difference in the world. We then shared them with the group.
My suggestion is to expand this idea is to include children in the process. My friend, Judy Chiss, former educational director of the Children’s Museum in Chicago, said she was making a “wish booklet” with her children and grandchildren.
This concept has great merit for introducing the idea of goal setting to young adults and children. It also offers the opportunity for a dialogue between family members. It creates opportunities for expression and learning more about each other. Imagine your child setting a goal to finish homework on time or not fighting with a sibling. This intention offers opportunities for self-managing and awareness.
Parents, too, can set goals such as no email, texts or phones after work thus creating more chances for face to face communication with family members. Once these goals are said out loud, the family has a responsibility to work together to reach their goals.
New Year’s goals, intentions, and wishes can be an excellent way to achieve something important, especially when they are shared. Make a wish list with your family today and see how your family system can improve.
In addition check out our book, Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags to increase the probability of your success.
For some people, wanting to make a difference sounds cliché; for Dawn Z. Bournand, it’s a life passion. Her philosophy is simple: give the best of yourself as often as you can. Dawn was inspired to name her company “Fabulously Successful” to help others break out of their comfort zones to grow and reach out on the level they were destined to achieve.
Dawn’s approach is different from other life coaches. While she supports and empowers people to live their purpose and create their own version of fabulous success, she also believes that owning your own business can often be a great way to accomplish your dreams. Dawn and her team focus on clients’ passions to determine how they may be able to weave them into their lives on a daily basis and perhaps even begin to make a living doing what they love.
One of the keys to fabulous success, Dawn believes, is finding joy in all parts of your life. As a mother of three young boys, she lives her message that life balance is not only possible but vital. According to Dawn, when one lives their life purpose, they have a reason, a why and they move forward with these core values in mind. That clarity makes it easy to decide the more important activities and release the rest.
The path to purpose has not always been easy for Dawn. As an expat in Paris, she was surprised and depressed by the lack of career options. Her turning point came as she silently prayed for guidance on a metro train, only to discover a phone message on her cell that would start her on her path to fabulous success.
For Dawn, touching just one person, igniting that spark of empowering others to excel is the reason she continues to grow her business. www.FabulouslySuccessful.com now offers group coaching and a Fabulously Successful Elite Club for Women and will be adding personal VIP days and workshops in France and in select cities around the world – all designed to help women use their light to shine even brighter and inspire others.
Advice for getting on track with your life’s purpose? “Go for it!,” says Dawn. “Find a success buddy, group or coach who can help you through the rough spots.” These rough spots can be the key to moving to the next level or taking your next step. Learn more about Dawn at www.FabulouslySuccessful.com or visit https://www.facebook.com/dawnbournand.
This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.
It’s not an easy time for many of you—job loss, mortgage issues, tight budgets and fear of the next shoe falling. Don’t despair. There is an upside and a way to enjoy your holiday in spite of difficult times
This is definitely a time to erase the past holiday experiences and make a new one. Wipe the slate clean and do something different.
Define what holiday means to you (and your family)
Our holidays have become a media frenzy experience instead of our own. What doyou really want from the holiday–sharing, laughing, reflecting, remembering, reawakening spirit? Once you define what you want the experience to be, you can create it without a lot of money and stress.
As I think about a time in my life when I was a single parent and broke, my daughter and I made lots of gifts and had time together to laugh and create. I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t have money to spend. I actually liked the time with my daughter that was removed from my busy life. Shopping doesn’t bring you closer.
This year I received the best present from my daughter—it was a poem on what I meant to her. I treasure it to this day. It is far better than any store bought gift.
Keep it simple
During times of great stress, it is easier to plan your holiday buying and decorating to a minimum. Think small. Remember to go back to that holiday definition and make the experiences come from within instead of objects. House decorating can be a family affair with all members coming up with one object or idea that can be put together by the family.
With small children who have high gift expectations, communicate that this year might be different. Explain why. Remember you are doing a great justice by keeping your kids in the loop of family issues. (It will prepare them for their future.) If there are financial difficulties, it is important to handle the message with honesty and compassion but not alarming them. A three year old doesn’t need lots of details but some explanation on why gift-giving will be different this year. It doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. And that really is up to you in how you communicate. For example,
“Santa is only bringing one gift this year—there are so many children and only so many to go around.” You can determine what suits your communication style.
For older children who want lots of expensive techie toys or games, you could consider contributing to an item and then asking other family members to pitch in.
General gift ideas include doing something for someone—a back rub for a partner, a special meal for a parent, a unique sleepover party for your children’s friends, etc.
Check out A Mindful Christmas—How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday by Barbara Kilikevich or Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas, by Bill McKibben.
Recent statements and interviews regarding the economy have promoted the idea that we all must experience the pain of the downturn. I’m puzzled by the phrase because pain isn’t what is needed. Rather, we need to be mindful and aware of our choices in our lifestyles, finances, and careers. Being aware means that we do our homework and research to make the best choices for the changing times. It doesn’t have to painful – it needs to be smart. (more…)
Last night I had the honor of addressing a truly remarkable group of women. The Executive Women International (EWI/ www.executivewomen.org) chapter in Birmingham, AL asked me to be their after-dinner speaker for their annual awards banquet. It was a festive, heartfelt event that reminded me of the power of gratitude.
EWI sponsors a scholarship program for women “off the grid.” These are not traditional students; most are moms going back to school to make a difference in the lives of their family and community. Called ASIST (Adult Students in Scholastic Transition), the program awards four women scholarships from $1000 to $5000. The women who won are truly inspirational – and these are their stories… (more…)
Traveling for work means I spend a lot time in airports, which is a great way to catch up on reading. Earlier in the week, somewhere between Alabama and North Carolina, I read a quote that really rocked my world: “How you spend your day is how you spend your life.”
Read that again — How you spend your day is how you spend your life. I don’t know about your day, but mine is often filled with nominal tasks that don’t add up to much while other long-lasting goals wither from lack of attention. Perhaps the assumption is that there is always more time, another day, to get to the big goals, which creates a bit of apathy. When I read that quote, a new sense of urgency emerged.
It wasn’t urgency from a fear that I don’t have time left to get to these goals – things like spending more time with friends and family, writing that best-selling novel and taking cooking classes in Italy. It was more the need to make sure I don’t waste opportunities to at least reach for these goals. Instead of filling the day with mundane tasks that only make a brief impact in your life, why not use that same time to take baby steps toward the goal that makes your heart sing?
That single phrase has been a huge motivator – a kick in the behind if you will. I’m amazed at what I’ve accomplished in only two days since I look at the idea of living my “dreams” everyday instead of waiting for enough time to pursue them in full.
What about you? What are the tasks or activities that consume your time and ultimately do not bring joy to your life? When you look back, do you want to remember a life filled with “to-do” lists, or a life filled with “tah-dah”?
Joanna Park is a work-life consultant in Japan and author of a new book on the need for globalization and diversity in Japan. She has been my client and I’ve had the pleasure of working with her for over seven years sharing US flexible work option strategies. After the earthquake, she agreed to be interviewed.
Tell me how the lives of you, your family and friends have changed since the earthquake.
We became much more aware of the power of earthquakes and tsunamis, although earthquakes have been common in Japan. We realize that we have no control over them as a human beings, like any natural disasters, we just need to accept them. We also have started to think about our priorities more seriously and how to use our time better to live more fruitfully, while we are alive. We appreciate life more.
Has anything changed in the workplace—such as more open dialogue, compassion, flexibility, gratefulness, etc.
I think the Japanese workplace has changed quite a bit with more compassion, appreciation, and caring. Also since we will be lacking massive electricity in the summer, companies are planning to introduce different types of flexible work arrangements, such as telework, summertime, and longer summer vacation, etc. They would have never thought of trying if the disaster had not happened. It is expected that workers will have more time in the evening for personal activities, which in turn could change not only the life style, but also the personal values of each individual.
How are young people reacting to all the changes since the earthquake?
They appreciate and care for family more. They also became more interested in volunteer work and contributing to others. More and more young workers take volunteer work vacations when their company offers, conduct charity events, help fund raising, and many more.
It’s all my husband’s fault. No really, it started with my husband Larry’s new year intention to be more mindful from day to day. We discussed how important details are missed in relationships and life every day because people are preoccupied or dividing their attention.
I decided to focus my mindfulness on areas of gratitude. To become more aware of the blessings of this life and to let people know how much I appreciate their participation and assistance. Which means, every day I must find something to be grateful for in my life. Ideally, my goal is to handwrite a thank you note to express my gratitude to the people invovled.
The project started February 1, and so far I’ve written three thank notes. Only three. That really surprises me! I find many opportunities to thank people verbally, so why should writing it down be any different? Because it is…the written word carries more weight, and a handwritten note vs. an email indicates more thoughtfulness, and therefore, more mindfulness.
This really sounded easier than it is. I’d love to hear your ideas of ways you give thanks for the blessings in your life and practice gratitude – who knows? You might just inspire us to send you thanks for your insights!
Five years ago, I moved my office to another state. The furniture arrived with no apparent damage but the file cabinets were another issue. The file credenza attached to my desk, that I use every day, suffered the worst. Despite best efforts, the hanging files refused to hang, so I simply piled them in the drawer and made the most of the situation.
You’ve probably guessed that meticulous files are not a motivator for me…still the current system worked well until a few days ago. Apparently, the final straw, or additional file, broke the camel’s back and my file drawer with the most pertinent information jammed. So much for ignoring the problem…
You may recall that I’ve been writing about my daughter’s quest to fulfill her dreams of attending medical school. After completing her Medical Masters degree this year, she signed on for the MCAT (application exam) for the 5th time.
Who remembers the definition of insanity? That’s doing the same thing over and over again (i.e., MCAT) expecting different results. (more…)
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