Last night I had the honor of addressing a truly remarkable group of women. The Executive Women International (EWI/ www.executivewomen.org) chapter in Birmingham, AL asked me to be their after-dinner speaker for their annual awards banquet. It was a festive, heartfelt event that reminded me of the power of gratitude.
EWI sponsors a scholarship program for women “off the grid.” These are not traditional students; most are moms going back to school to make a difference in the lives of their family and community. Called ASIST (Adult Students in Scholastic Transition), the program awards four women scholarships from $1000 to $5000. The women who won are truly inspirational – and these are their stories… (more…)
Our current road trip to Chicago took us through North Carolina last week. While in a little town called Maggie Valley, an unusual blue building that looked like a mini warehouse caught my eye. It turned out to be a unique used bookstore on a residential side street. The building was surrounded by trees with the Smoky Mountains as a backdrop while a fish-stocked pond and flowers were in front of the building.
When I entered the building, I had the feeling of being smothered with books, some a little musty. Every single space, ceiling to floor, was filled with books, with a few very small aisles to walk through. Almost disguised in a corner was a middle aged woman smiling and welcoming. After some pleasantries, she began to tell me her story. She is the author of a biographical story of her growing up. This isn’t an ordinary growing up story—it is a horror story and one of endurance. I won’t go through all the brutality as you can get her book but I was taken aback at her willingness to share—extreme poverty (no shoes or winter clothes), continuous beatings by parents and teachers, hunger, sexual abuse, repeated physical danger from bears, panthers, and poisonous snakes. I think you get the picture.
Yet, I kept looking at this jolly, smiling woman as she recounted some of the episodes and wondered how she ever made it through—alive. After I bought her book, her parting words to me were, “People need to know that they can change their lives even under the worst circumstances. It is possible to find a new life filled with love and compassion. They don’t have to repeat brutal patterns suffered in their childhood. They can change their lives” (more…)
Traveling for work means I spend a lot time in airports, which is a great way to catch up on reading. Earlier in the week, somewhere between Alabama and North Carolina, I read a quote that really rocked my world: “How you spend your day is how you spend your life.”
Read that again — How you spend your day is how you spend your life. I don’t know about your day, but mine is often filled with nominal tasks that don’t add up to much while other long-lasting goals wither from lack of attention. Perhaps the assumption is that there is always more time, another day, to get to the big goals, which creates a bit of apathy. When I read that quote, a new sense of urgency emerged.
It wasn’t urgency from a fear that I don’t have time left to get to these goals – things like spending more time with friends and family, writing that best-selling novel and taking cooking classes in Italy. It was more the need to make sure I don’t waste opportunities to at least reach for these goals. Instead of filling the day with mundane tasks that only make a brief impact in your life, why not use that same time to take baby steps toward the goal that makes your heart sing?
That single phrase has been a huge motivator – a kick in the behind if you will. I’m amazed at what I’ve accomplished in only two days since I look at the idea of living my “dreams” everyday instead of waiting for enough time to pursue them in full.
What about you? What are the tasks or activities that consume your time and ultimately do not bring joy to your life? When you look back, do you want to remember a life filled with “to-do” lists, or a life filled with “tah-dah”?
This is the second part of an interview with my client, Joanna Park, in Japan
What do you foresee in the future for Japan—individual lives and work lives?
The disaster has really impacted Japan in so many ways. It is very hard to foresee the future, but I truly believe that we will be seeing a lot of changes in the society, companies and people here in a positive way.
What are your greatest fears, concerns?
The greatest fear for most Japanese and me is when the next big earthquake will occur. Since we don’t know the timing, we need to be ready how we respond in that situation and also prepare emergency supplies in the event of a disaster
Can you see any upsides from the recent events?
People appreciate simple things and ordinary life more, and realize the importance of relationships. Companies became more understanding of employees’ personal lives and also It has forced companies to think ways of working flexibly.
I think it has become a great ‘chance’ for Japanese to ‘change’. (Actually I wonder if it is not now, when? ) Japanese dislike and have been avoiding change but the events have given Japanese a sense of emergency and a good reason to change.
Post interview comments:
Recent articles about Japan indicate that the government is encouraging more vacation time, a shorter work week and work at home to save on energy. With summer heat, electricity will be limited because of the earthquake and these alternatives will save energy.
Being a speaker and trainer, I visit a lot of airports to reach my clients. There are certain expectations or standards that rank some airports above others – easy access to connections, a Starbucks kiosk and short lines in the restrooms. Not glamorous, I know, but these are the basics for me when travelling.
Recently, I’ve noticed an increase in smart technology when I travel. It all started with my smart phone. When texting, the phone often “spells” the word it thinks I am typing. (An annoying habit as apparently, I am one of the few that still texts using proper grammar and full words.) That’s livable since the feature can be turned off — I appreciate the fact that the manufacture still gives me the option to apply my own intelligence over “artificial.”
That’s not always the case. Back to the airports…I’ve noticed an alarming trend of automating the process of travel. Those check-in kiosks are convenient – until you have an unplanned flight change and need a live person. Don’t even bother trying to call the airline as you will go through a series of automated options before ever reaching a live person. And then there are the moving sidewalks – again, very convenient if you choose to walk on them. Unfortunately, they can be very cumbersome if one treats them as a “ride” instead of walking.
My biggest beef of trying to automate our lives happens in the restrooms with automatic flushing. The idea is honorable but perplexing to me. Do we really need someone else to be in charge of flushing the toilet? What happens we return home? There is no magic sensor there to do the job – we must actually take action. And there-in lays the rub: are we becoming a society so engrossed with technology to the point of losing our ability to think beyond automation and “smart” options?
Just the other day I called a hotel to book a client’s rate. Apparently, the rate listed showed a king bed and since the hotel had no king beds left, she told me there were no rooms available. Yet a call to the 800 # service booked me at the rate with a double vs. a king. I see hundreds of examples of this inability to think or problem solve beyond technology all the time, and it concerns me that we are losing critical thinking skills thanks to the automated conveniences.
What about you? Where do you see a shift in skills or abilities because we are no longer required to think for ourselves? What are your pet peeves about technology that is supposed to enrich our lives but may have the opposite affect? Let us know and we’ll share your ideas in the weeks to come.
Joanna Park is a work-life consultant in Japan and author of a new book on the need for globalization and diversity in Japan. She has been my client and I’ve had the pleasure of working with her for over seven years sharing US flexible work option strategies. After the earthquake, she agreed to be interviewed.
Tell me how the lives of you, your family and friends have changed since the earthquake.
We became much more aware of the power of earthquakes and tsunamis, although earthquakes have been common in Japan. We realize that we have no control over them as a human beings, like any natural disasters, we just need to accept them. We also have started to think about our priorities more seriously and how to use our time better to live more fruitfully, while we are alive. We appreciate life more.
Has anything changed in the workplace—such as more open dialogue, compassion, flexibility, gratefulness, etc.
I think the Japanese workplace has changed quite a bit with more compassion, appreciation, and caring. Also since we will be lacking massive electricity in the summer, companies are planning to introduce different types of flexible work arrangements, such as telework, summertime, and longer summer vacation, etc. They would have never thought of trying if the disaster had not happened. It is expected that workers will have more time in the evening for personal activities, which in turn could change not only the life style, but also the personal values of each individual.
How are young people reacting to all the changes since the earthquake?
They appreciate and care for family more. They also became more interested in volunteer work and contributing to others. More and more young workers take volunteer work vacations when their company offers, conduct charity events, help fund raising, and many more.
Have you ever met someone that takes command of the room without saying a word? Someone who just radiates confidence and control? That “presence” or ability to influence others is the subject of an excellent book by Val Williams: The Influence Puzzle, 6 Aspects of Powerful Executive Presence (Shadowbrook Publishing, 2008).
Williams is a former high-ranking executive who now coaches other high-ranking executives on the nuances of leadership at the most senior level. She makes a strong argument that leadership at the top requires an ability to influence others in driving results. And while body language and outside appearances impact this ability, true “Presence is born in your self-perception: how you see your value to the world, how you see your power, how you see others.”
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