After the recession, I wrote about the new norm in the book Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags.Now we are experiencing a new phenomenon associated with the new norm that newspapers are calling the new normal. (Examples: NY Times November 7, 2012 – By MIREYA NAVARRO, November 01, 2012 – By ANDREW C. REVKIN) The words are different but the effect on humans is the same. Individuals are facing more change and upheaval than ever before. There are fewer things we can count on–jobs, security, and now weather possibly associated with climate change.
How do you weather the new storms?
More than ever individuals must remove expectations and learn to be extremely resilient and flexible. Think about that ball on a string as it goes up and down. That is you going through difficult times and then times of stability. The challenge is to find new, different, and creative ways to be happy in spite of the difficult times.
Problem solving using innovative methods is the key to getting through the new normal. Multitasking can be an important skill to use but it is different now–it is being able to juggle emotions and practical actions at the same time. Dealing with loss while picking up your life, your belongings and moving forward.
Count your blessings instead of your losses.
Those blessings may be disguised in small things like a child’s hug or a friend’s message of love. We are still a free nation and people around you care what happens.
As I traveled the world this summer I was often reminded about the many institutions we have to help us during times of crises. There are few countries that have the resources, spirit, and volunteer organizations willing to help out.
The new normal is here to stay. Your willingness to push through and find a life that is meaningful and productive is your challenge. If you have lost a lot or a little, it is an opportunity for you to think over what was and is important and what you might want to do differently.
Just the other day, Sharon Cohen of the Associated Press wrote a story of Baby Boomers aged 50+ looking for long-term work. The article expressed the despair and rejection qualified candidates feel while searching for gainful employment. It evoked tough memories for me as well, when I was laid off the first time in my career, almost 25 years ago.
Ms. Cohen’s article chronicled the efforts of the job seekers – looking online, scouring the classifieds and even networking groups of other unemployed. I ran into the same issues – sending 100s of resumes to blind ads, knocking on storefronts with help wanted signs – and like many of my Boomer colleagues, I was told more than once that my knowledge and skills made me “over-qualified” for a position. The frustration and rejection can be overwhelming.
While these are traditional, classic methods, they are not the way most employers find great employees – the rules have changed and Boomers need to be aware of where to channel their time and energy. (more…)
Can you develop your own American Dream?Can you accept that your lifestyle may be different than the last generation?Can you still be happy?
In our book, Upside:How to Zig When Life Zags, we discuss the meaning of happiness.Our premise is that even during a recession and hard times, it is possible to be happy.One of the core elements in the book is the idea that happiness comes from many things other than material possessions. We also emphasize the importance of reworking your American Dream to fit the new reality.
A new survey conducted by MetLife indicates that many are pursuing their own version of the American Dream.Beth Hirschhorn, executive vice president and chief marketing, says “people are adapting and pursuing their own American dream.” There is a de-emphasis on material values, even to the extent of accepting lower living standards.
“The American Dream for many – higher education, owning a home, a great career, providing a financial safety net and building retirement assets – is eitherunachievable or irrelevant.Posted on:Dream’s dark hour By GREGORY BRESIGER January 7, 2012
Survey spokeswoman Laura Adams, adds that the American Dream is less conventional and more personalized than previously defined. The average American wants to realize his own dream, not that of a group.
It’s not an easy time for many of you—job loss, mortgage issues, tight budgets and fear of the next shoe falling. Don’t despair. There is an upside and a way to enjoy your holiday in spite of difficult times
This is definitely a time to erase the past holiday experiences and make a new one. Wipe the slate clean and do something different.
Define what holiday means to you (and your family)
Our holidays have become a media frenzy experience instead of our own. What doyou really want from the holiday–sharing, laughing, reflecting, remembering, reawakening spirit? Once you define what you want the experience to be, you can create it without a lot of money and stress.
As I think about a time in my life when I was a single parent and broke, my daughter and I made lots of gifts and had time together to laugh and create. I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t have money to spend. I actually liked the time with my daughter that was removed from my busy life. Shopping doesn’t bring you closer.
This year I received the best present from my daughter—it was a poem on what I meant to her. I treasure it to this day. It is far better than any store bought gift.
Keep it simple
During times of great stress, it is easier to plan your holiday buying and decorating to a minimum. Think small. Remember to go back to that holiday definition and make the experiences come from within instead of objects. House decorating can be a family affair with all members coming up with one object or idea that can be put together by the family.
With small children who have high gift expectations, communicate that this year might be different. Explain why. Remember you are doing a great justice by keeping your kids in the loop of family issues. (It will prepare them for their future.) If there are financial difficulties, it is important to handle the message with honesty and compassion but not alarming them. A three year old doesn’t need lots of details but some explanation on why gift-giving will be different this year. It doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. And that really is up to you in how you communicate. For example,
“Santa is only bringing one gift this year—there are so many children and only so many to go around.” You can determine what suits your communication style.
For older children who want lots of expensive techie toys or games, you could consider contributing to an item and then asking other family members to pitch in.
General gift ideas include doing something for someone—a back rub for a partner, a special meal for a parent, a unique sleepover party for your children’s friends, etc.
Check out A Mindful Christmas—How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday by Barbara Kilikevich or Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas, by Bill McKibben.
Today, November 27, The Diane Rehm Show, www.thedianerehm.org, focused on the loss of the American Dream. (I encourage you to listen to the podcast.) There were many poignant stories of individuals who followed the rules—did everything right and still fell behind. There were many reasons why—loss of job or health, cost of health care, lack of education, government services, union issues, housing, etc.
As we know, in this political climate it will be a long time before the government is able to do anything substantial. However, there are still some things individuals can begin to do on their own. In Upside: How to Zig when Life Zags, we encourage individuals to reinvent their American Dream—that means start over. Wipe the slate clean of expectations, things that worked in the past. In today’s world, we must constantly invent. We must also think about alternatives in every aspect of our lives—where and how we live, how to educate our children, how to save money, and how to protect our health.
As I watched the frenzy on Black Friday, I was amazed that people are still being tempted to spend even during these difficult times. I have nothing against purchasing goods but that day could have been spent enjoying family and brainstorming the next steps for many during this transition.
None of this is easy but we aren’t alone. We must find the courage and the mental and physical resources to move on and find the answers. We must be strong and commit to being resourceful and find others with which to share the journey.
These are exciting times and important events with the new protests as they indicate changes are in the air. People are frustrated and looking for solutions. The world has become more difficult to navigate and people are angry and confused, and want to make the world a more livable place for themselves and others. In our book, Upside, we discuss “the not known is the new norm” which is happening and creating instability. People want stability and that comes when change occurs at all levels—corporate, government, and individual.
As I listen to comments from protesters one theme seems to reoccur: the American Dream. One protester in Florida said, “I feel like the American Dream has passed me by.” Others have said, “What happened to the American Dream?” We have researched this topic and address it in our book at length– It is time to reinvent your American Dream to adapt to the changing times. Your American Dream will look different moving forward than it did in the past. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy and prosper. It does mean that you will have to change the paradigm so it is sustainable.
My hope for the protest groups is that they organize at some point to address their issues and put them in categories so we all can brainstorm and begin problem solving. There are answers and ways to address all the issues but it will take a commitment and willingness from our whole society to change. The New American Dream will be at the core.
My perception of the simple life changed dramatically after my recent trip to the countries of Namibia and Botswana in Africa.
In my US workshops, I often ask people to determine what are the things in their life that contribute to happiness. The subsequent discussion with attendees usually includes how to lead a simpler life and be happy.
In my travels through Africa, my observations about the simple life caused me to reflect once more. For Africans, access to basics like water and electricity are minimal. Cooking is simple, done outside over a wood burning fire. This is the extreme in simple living. Walking five miles a day for water is a normal activity for everyone. Transportation to anywhere is limited to donkey carts or hitching rides.
I’ve read about these living circumstances but seeing it first hand, is monumental. I didn’t do any surveys on happiness but children playing without toys seemed very happy. Our guide said that “when you don’t know any other life it is easy to accept your circumstances and be happy with what you have.”
We can’t compare our US lives to African ones but we can take on their attitude of being happy with what we have—which is ten times more than any individual living in the African villages.
When asked in a recent radio interview on happiness what I was thankful for it was easy to reply—clean water out of a faucet. What are you grateful for that contributes to your happiness?
You may be surprised to know that Americans work harder than our counterparts abroad. While Europeans enjoy months at a time of “holiday,” Americans remain hard at work. The numbers on relaxation and vacation are in – and they are not in our favor! (more…)
Now that summer is unofficially over with the start of school, I’m exhausted – and I didn’t have anyone to send back to class! Nope, my slow burn is the result of not taking any time off and trying to cram in all the last-minute requests, wrap up loose ends and finalize major projects started mid-summer. Ordinarily, this is no problem. This year, however, I feel more burned out than ever… (more…)
Economist and best-selling author Juliet Schor has a new video describing the new American Dream: http://vimeo.com/26573848. The film shows why economic and job-related strategies from the past that don’t work in today’s economy. It depicts, in her words, “what a post-consumer society could look like, with people working fewer hours and pursuing re-skilling, homesteading, and small-scale enterprises that can help reduce the overall size and impact of the consumer economy.”
In our book Upside, we talk about the need for creating your own career crystal ball of the future. This film is an excellent example of our concept: taking advantage of emerging job opportunities based on the needs of the future. It also takes into account the need to pay attention to our dwindling resources as that affects job opportunities, too. (more…)
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